Conferences and Cicadas

I gave my first keynote speech today.  I have been working and stressing over it for about a month, tweaking, revising, and just generally driving my friends and family insane with drafts and slide decks.  I got to the convention center early enough to set up my laptop and practice one final time.

I was the closing speaker at a three-day conference, so I knew what the audience really wanted was for me to be fast so they could enjoy some of those precious post-conference moments of food, shopping, or other blissfully responsibility-free activities teachers always seem to enjoy.  

As I waited for everything to get started, the 2012 Teacher of the Year came up and introduced herself.  She had such kind and wonderful words of support. She knew exactly what it was like to be sitting there still more or less awestruck that any of this was even happening to me.  Her encouragement exactly what I needed to hear before I stepped up to present.  I hope that I can do that for whoever comes after me.

Once I started talking, it all felt normal again.  Presenting information about something I’m passionate about is what I do.  I saw some heads nod.  People did laugh at the bits that I had hoped would be funny.  I had several people tell me it had gone well at the end, so I am hopeful it was at least not painful for the audience.

In any case, this new incarnation of myself as a person who presents in front of large groups has begun.  

After watching the most polite traffic flow I’ve ever seen out of a major event, I headed back to Ocean Springs where I have been staying.  Any time I am on the coast, I am always going to go to Realizations, the store run by the family of Walter Anderson.  I was still riding a feeling of celebration when I got there. In a case by the door, I saw a beautiful silver pendant of a cicada made by Mimosa, a company from New Orleans.  I shopped around the remainder of the store, but I kept thinking of it.

Cicadas fascinate me.  The vast majority of their lives is spent underground in the process of becoming. During this phase, they are covered in a dull, brown shell.  Suddenly, when the time is right, they emerge to transform and glory in life for as long as they have left.  I know many people might not find them beautiful, but I always have with their shimmering, glassy wings and bright eyes. How strange it must be to them when they first leave their holes in the ground.  They had been earthbound, but now they can soar and sing.

I’ve been thinking about them quite a lot this year, especially since we have the massive superbrood situation. Oddly, I find myself identifying with an insect.  I feel like I am working to strip off an old version of myself that no longer serves its purpose.  As I am shedding it, I am a little disoriented as I try to figure out how all these new attributes work.  

I bought the pendant at Realizations to remind myself of this day, the day my shell cracked and I started to figure out what is coming next.  I am excited to see it. I hope I am going to be able to fly strong on beautiful wings for as much time as I have left.